You know girls, since we started our bible study this year with Inescapable Choices, I find myself reflecting on my own inescapable choice. Simply put, I could choose to stay with what the world offered me, the broad way, which leads to emptiness and nothing; OR choose the narrow way, to surrender my life to Jesus, which leads to the joy of knowing Him and eternal life. We are faced with making choices and decisions of all shapes and sizes on a daily basis, which affect the trajectory of our character and souls. I am realizing this more each day. But the ‘inescapable choice’ rushed in on me with a gut wrenching force for which I was not entirely prepared.
Journey with me to being a mum in my 20’s. I breezed through life making choices and decisions based on what made me feel good. I admit not all of the choices I made were good ones. I was happy, I had a good, hardworking husband and 2 beautiful daughters, a lovely home, a car, a job, life was good…or was it? I couldn’t shake the feeling of discontentment and emptiness. Was this all there was to life? Was I just ungrateful? I had more than many, yet I couldn’t shake the empty feeling inside.
THEN – my world was turned upside down. At just 8 weeks old our daughter became very ill. I had lost a baby prior to having her and was filled with fear that I may lose her also. I felt as if God was punishing me. As the ambulance whisked us to our nearest hospital; a deep fear took root in my heart. I bargained with God, crying “please don’t let my baby die, in return I will start going to church”. The diagnosis came after two days of tests and watching over our lifeless baby. Our daughter had a reflux kidney, which had caused a severe infection. We had to make a choice about her treatment, choosing the route of antibiotics with surgery when she reached the age of 5. Subsequent tests revealed that one kidney had become smaller and was scarred. Surgery was imminent.
To keep my part of the bargain, I started going to church. I had many unanswered questions and I wanted to know that God was real and for Him to prove his love for me. I just couldn’t grasp that I was worthy of his love. The fact that God, the Creator of the universe and all that is in it, could possibly love me was beyond my comprehension. Yet the bible tells me He does because He sent Jesus to pay the price for my sinfulness. John 3:16 tells us that “God so loved the world, that he gave his only son that whoever believes in him shall not die but have eternal life. “
I was overwhelmed and my heart was filled with thankfulness and joy when we learned that the shrunken kidney had grown to a normal size. Through this crisis, I made the choice to fully surrender my life to God: the inescapable choice. I can now see that it is God who fills my void and not ‘things’. I am so thankful that God used this crisis to bring me to Him and help me see that He loves me. He loves you too; so much that God in Jesus came to rescue us from ourselves. We no longer have to settle for counterfeit, temporary “void-fillers.” Have you made your choice? If so, let us encourage each other on this narrow path. Let’s remind each other that it is the great deceiver who messes with us into thinking God doesn’t love us. If your choice has been the broad path, even by default, I hope and pray the eyes of your heart will be opened.