Before I launch into the main subject of my first blog I wish to express my love and gratitude to my Father God for His constant faithfulness over these many years and how He has showered me with His grace time and time again when I was undeserving. God’s Grace certainly has been ‘unmerited favour ‘ in my life! He has been my constancy throughout my life and seen me through to today. If left to myself I probably would have strayed from Him over the years. He has fulfilled the scripture that Paul wrote “I am confident that He who began a good work in me WILL carry it through to completion until the day of Christ.” I continue to trust in this Word when I fail Him. It is all about Jesus and His keeping power.
As a younger woman I had all the natural desires to get married and have children. Throughout my early years as a nurse and midwife, I lived on an emotional rollercoaster as I witnessed one friend after another getting married; and I, going home to my loneliness and unmet desire with no prospects of finding anyone myself.
Satan had a heyday with me many times bringing me to low self-esteem and self worth. I found that I was comparing myself with others, i.e., “Am I not attractive enough?” Looking back I realize it was short sighted of me, but my feelings were real and raw at the time. But, as the years went by and my walk with God matured, He brought me to the place where I was able to yield those desires to Him and be content in whatever state He had chosen for me- one day at a time.
There were times that I wanted to take matters into my own hands! I was tempted to overlook scripture and look outside of my gospel faith for a husband. Through God’s mercy, I realized that I would not find happiness that way. My choice was to put God first and trust Him to supply all my needs in Christ.
I think this was my first biggest test of yielding in obedience to going God’s way rather than my own!
After all my struggles with this, I can honestly say that my desire was to live for Jesus first and foremost. I was at peace about my single state (or being an unclaimed jewel!) One verse in Isaiah that I love and took to heart was in chapter 54 v 5 “For your Maker is your husband.” (NIV)
Unexpectedly, He granted the desire of my heart and gave me a husband. Not only that but in spite of being past the age of childbearing myself, He gave me my first grandchild three weeks after being married at the age of 54! As one of my doctor colleagues told me, “Only a midwife could manage that one!”
I would like to encourage all single readers who also have the desire for a life partner and it is yet to happen- Put God first and seek His divine will for your life. The road is not always easy, but you can trust in our Lord God. You cannot lose out this way with or without a husband!